Mamagirl… says it all…

Just a Mama's musings…

The only reason that I’m not afraid to fly… May 24, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — mamagirlsaysitall @ 2:29 am

MamaGirl says…

So, there’s this new show on Disney and there’s this song and it says “You might be crazy, but have I told you lately, that I love you. You’re the only reason that I’m not afraid to fly.” There are two things in this world that will make me stand up and face my fears, their names are A-man and Mags.

I’m a big, old chicken shit. That’s what I am. I’m afraid of everything. It can all hurt you, you know. Everything. Everything can and will hurt you, at some point. But the two little humans that I brought into this world can change it for me. If they are watching, I can do anything. I can have a good attitude, because they need to have a good attitude. I can face heights that would normally buckle my knees and have me laying on the ground, so that I don’t fall off of the world, because they need to face those heights. Truth be told, I am afraid of almost everything. People speeding down the Interstate (That car could kill us!), heights (I’ll fall off the world!), strangers (He could be a mugger!), social situations (They might not like me!), but when it comes to my kids, I’m able to put it all aside. You see, one of the things that I am most afraid of, is projecting my fears on to them. A-man already has a fear of heights because of me freaking out on the side of a cliff. I don’t want any more of my baggage to become their baggage.

So, whatever it is. Whatever it is that needs facing, I’m going to face it. I’m going to do it. I’m going to conquer it, kick its ass and show it who’s boss! … As long as my kids are watching…. They are the only thing that has ever allowed me the ability to control my fears. I cannot allow myself to worry about everything that I see on the news. They don’t need that worry. I cannot allow myself to be afraid of every stranger that we meet. They don’t need to fear the world. I cannot allow myself to physically shut down because we are at the pinnacle of the mountain. My kids need to enjoy the view. Even though I am white-knuckled, breathing deeply and consciously “talking myself down,” I will still plaster a smile onto my face and at least pretend to be excited about what we’re doing. I mean, after all, I’m not in the business of raising wusses…. like me.

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